Episode 121
Rest In Peace Frank Ricci
Transcript
This is Vinny.
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:This is gonna be really hard
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:Life is precious, but it's not forever
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:I have a close friend of mine who on
th of:
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:I had spoken to him two days earlier
about his plans to come visit here in
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:Florida on his trip to go see his brother
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:And I was so wrapped up in my own world of
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:disconnect that I forgot to call him.
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:And we used to talk about once
every month or sooner, and for
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:some reason it just slipped by me.
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:And I, I really, really feel
so bad that I let that happen
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:'Cause we all know that life is short.
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:We don't know when our time is up
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:And I feel very, very sad, but I
happy too that we had like great,
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:great conversations over the years.
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:And I'm gonna read what was written
about him, and then I'll, I'll
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:elaborate on our, our relationship.
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:But I think I take away from this one
thing: you're not guaranteed tomorrow.
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:No one is
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:And whatever your case is, whatever
your situation is, whatever it is that,
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:um, is causing you grief, causing you
issues, family, friends, your loved one,
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:whatever it is, it's not that important.
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:What's most important is the here and now
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:So here's a little bit about Frank.
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:He was born on November the 10th in 1939
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:And they write here, "Frank Ricci,
a man of unwavering conviction.
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:He had a real sharp wit," yep, "and
deep devotion to those he loved.
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:He passed away," again, "on
th,:
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:home after a battle with cancer.
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:He was 86."
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:And we, we talked about cancer and, and
when he was going through his battles
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:and I was going through mine, and we
would have discussions about, you know,
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:what kind of treatment we were getting
and who the doctors were and how he was
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:in remission, and he was doing well.
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:And, uh
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:I think the last time we spoke,
we were talking about him,
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:like I said, coming to visit.
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:He'd been going back to the
gym, working out, and doing his
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:routines, and, uh, that was it.
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:So Frank was born on November
th in:
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:Frank came to the United States
at the age of 18 with his family.
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:They were ready to build a
life here in the US, and he was
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:gonna build it on his terms.
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:And he made that life in Chicago, where
he served as a police officer with pride
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:and grit, and he was known on the for-
known on the force as the Italian Prince.
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:Frank carried himself with
presence and authority, equal
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:parts discipline and personality.
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:Yeah, he exhibited that many
a time when I was around him.
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:Frank was not a man who
blended into the background.
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:He had strong opinions, spoke his mind
freely, and never softened the truth.
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:Boy, he sure could do that.
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:Oh, boy, he could do that.
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:Ah, I miss it.
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:Frank was p- preceded
by death by his father,
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:Giuseppe Ricchi, and his
mother, Angelia Ricchi.
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:Um-
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:Beneath that bold exterior was a man
deeply rooted in love and loyalty.
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:He was devoted husband, and he
survived by sharing forty-four years of
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:marriage with his beloved wife, Arlene.
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:They were med- married in February 20th.
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:His commitment to her was steadfast,
enduring, and unquestionable
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:Frank was a devoted stepfather
who showed up faithfully, fully
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:for the kids that she had.
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:He was proud and he, he presented his--
presented himself as a grandfather
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:to all of them, even though they
were not his biological children.
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:He took great interest in what they
did, their lives, never missing any
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:opportunity to stay connected with them.
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:And there were times when I was
with him or I'd be on the phone, he
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:says, "Well, so-and-so's calling.
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:I need to take the call."
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:"Yes, go take the call.
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:They're important to you."
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:The man was just impeccable
about his family.
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:He is survived by his brother, Claudio
Ricci and Maria Ricci, which is
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:what's his wife's name, his brother's
wife's name, and a cousin, uh, Dr.
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:Robert Ricci
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:They say here his legacy will continue
through his great-grandchildren.
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:Frank loved
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:Extension went-- Frank's love
went beyond traditional titles.
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:He held a f- title of father-like
bound with Andrew, whom he
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:cared for deeply as a son.
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:He maintained close and meaningful
connections with all of the other
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:children along with their kids.
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:He was, he was just a great guy
all around for the entire family
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:Frank
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:Had a curious and reth- restlessness mind.
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:He was always engaged in politics,
world events, and history.
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:Never short on perspectives and
never shy about sharing his thoughts.
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:Uh, he had a quiet time.
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:He could be found at the, uh,
YMCA, going out fishing with his…
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:when he was younger.
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:And, uh, he just kept a watchful
eye over the people in his lives
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:Frank lived without apology.
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:He loved hard, spoke plainly,
and stood firmly in who he was.
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:He was, uh, every sense unforgettable.
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:His presence and his legacy will
echo in the lives of those he knew
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:And those that knew him and loved him
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:I know that I got off script, but I
was trying to read it and I just…
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:So many thoughts were
going through my mind
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:Where did I meet Frank?
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:30 years ago
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:Olive Branch, Mississippi.
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:You're gonna think, "Olive
Branch, Mississippi?
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:How does a guy from Chicago and a guy
from Florida meet in Olive Branch?"
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:Well, we were there because all of us
that were at that meeting were starting
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:a brand-new real estate association,
and Frank was one of the ones that
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:attended from the Chicago area.
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:And, uh, it was called NAEBA, National
Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents,
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:and I won't get into a lot of this.
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:I'll get into those on my other podcast.
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:But he was there to, uh, you
know, help start the organization.
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:There was about 250 of us from all
over the country who were independent
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:brokers wanting Thursdays and Tuesdays
in office, and we all kinda got together
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:and said, "Look, we need to have a, a,
a group, a, um, a place where we can
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:all meet, congregate, and share ideas."
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:So we did.
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:And when it came time to write the
checks, there were a few of us, including
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:Frank, who wrote a pretty good-sized
check to get the organization started.
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:We knew that we had to have funds
to fund it, and he wrote a check,
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:and I struck a check, and we became
founding members of the organization.
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:And over the years, you know,
he was participating in real
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:estate in, in the Chicago area
and then eventually moved to, uh,
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:Tennessee, just outside of Nashville
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:A little more about his
real estate adventures.
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:He was involved with condominiums in,
in the Chicago area and development
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:and all kinds of stuff in, you
know, after his police career.
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:Very, very, very, very intelligent man.
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:Self-taught in a lot of ways, like my dad.
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:Old Italian with the attitudes
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:Strength, family, country
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:I, I, I, the, the strongest thing, the,
the best thing I can remember is that we
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:were putting this organization together
and w-we were having lunch, and we both
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:started talking about the leadership
of the organization and, and who we
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:thought would be a, a good leader for it.
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:And, you know, we had spent
days, you know, talking to
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:people excuse me, trying to
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:See who in the group would make a strong
leader, kind of a George Washington.
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:And, you know, most of the
people there were-- At the time
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:I was in my late 30s, early 40s,
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:and we wanted someone who
had the strength, the wisdom,
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:the care of the organization.
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:And Frank and I went to, uh,
Leo Berard from Cape Cod, and
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:we said, "Leo, we like you.
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:We think you've got the, the, the
right stuff to run this organization."
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:So Frank and I kind of sat with him,
talked to him and said, "Look, this
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:organization needs you to get started.
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:If you don't do this, this thing
is never gonna get off the ground."
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:And Frank and I put a little bit of
the, uh, Italian persuasion into him
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:And, uh, he became the president.
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:That was just the start.
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:And, uh, uh, I came back to Florida.
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:He was in Chicago still at the time.
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:He hadn't moved to Tennessee yet
'cause he was contemplating it.
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:And Arlene, his wife, wanted to get
out of the Chicago cold, and, uh, they
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:were still there a few more years.
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:And then one day he said,
"We're moving to Nashville."
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:I go, "Wow.
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:Okay."
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:So then he moved,
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:and, uh, started up his real estate
practice there in, in the, in the
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:Nashville area, and then come to
visit me a few times in Clearwater
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:And there was a, um, couple of real
estate friends of mine in the market were
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:talking to me about network marketing.
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:And I said to Frank, I said,
"You do any of this stuff?"
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:He goes, "Yeah, Ponzi schemes."
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:"Yeah, I've done some of those."
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:And we talked about it, and,
uh, I took him to a meeting that
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:I was going to that evening.
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:My friend Charlie Brenny, who's a,
a broker in the Clearwater area,
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:said, "This is not a Ponzi scheme.
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:This is legit."
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:And I go, "Okay, tell us your story.
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:You know, you got me and you
got Frank, and we're both,
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:you know, Italian, skeptical
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:And, uh, so they made their
pitch, and we bought in.
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:It was called Excel.
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:It was long distance when
it was getting deregulated.
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:So they deregulated long distance,
so now that other people could resell
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:long distance for less than you
were paying the telephone company.
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:So we both joined Excel and, uh,
started to build a little organization.
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:I was helping Frank, you know, recruit
people and sell the product, and that
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:was just one little incident that
we got involved with some of that.
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:And then over the years, he
would come visit occasionally
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:and, uh, we would talk about real estate
and he said, "You know, I need to get
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:my real estate license in Florida."
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:And I said, "Sure, I can do it."
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:So I put together a class so he
can get his broker's license 'cause
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:he was already a sales associate.
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:No, he was already a broker in Chicago and
in Tennessee, so he could go from sales,
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:not have to do the sales, become a broker.
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:So I put the cla- class together of
brokers, and we had a special class so he
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:can get his broker's license, and he got
his license and, you know, he was involved
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:with me early on in some of the ventures
I had gotten into with, with the buyer
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:agency, and he firmly believed in it.
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:And, uh, kind of, uh, gave me some
guidance on some things that he had done
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:past and where he thought the future
was going with it, and approached me
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:about maybe joining some forces and
put together a, a team of our own.
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:I said, "Let's look into it."
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:And we looked into it
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:Didn't all come together, but that's fine.
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:Uh, the friendship went on and on.
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:Uh, we would see each other
a couple times a year.
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:He'd come visit Florida and,
you know, we'd, we'd hang
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:out and do the stuff together
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:And, uh, I'm just trying to think about…
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:He couldn't get Arlene to come down.
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:She said it was too hot,
too humid, too many bugs.
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:I assured her, "It's not that bad.
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:It really isn't."
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:I said, "Arlene, you can live with it."
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:Eh, she wasn't sold on it.
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:So he would come down to visit his,
his cousin and his brother, I think
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:it was, in, in New Port Richey.
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:And, you know, he, he just
kind of liked the area
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:So many times, so many things I'd call
him about and talk and like I said,
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:he was kinda like a big brother to me
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:sounding board.
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:I, I, I'd have conversations with him and
he goes, "Well, think, think about this."
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:And he would stop and ask questions,
probe, you know, "Okay, what's the good?
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:What's the bad?
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:What's the outcome?
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:Is it gonna hurt you?
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:Is it gonna hurt someone else?"
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:I felt that he was the
big brother I didn't have
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:Uh, I got to use my Italian once in a
while with him, and he'd, he'd laugh.
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:I said, "Look, I'm not as
fluent as you were, okay?"
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:You know,
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:I tried to have conversations with
him, and he would just snicker about it
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:What else can I say about Frank?
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:Uh, we would talk maybe
every four to six weeks.
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:You know, he would give me
a call, I'd give him a call
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:I think one of the
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:Not the last time I saw him, but maybe
a couple times before that I was living
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:in Sarasota, and he came down to visit.
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:And, uh, I was doing my travel business at
the time, and he got excited about that.
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:He said, "We can do some trips to Italy."
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:He says, "Yeah, I got contacts."
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:And, you know, we started putting
that together, doing some trips with
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:Orofino Tours and some other stuff
that was going on in Italy and tours.
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:And I said, "Man, with the contacts
you got, we could have a fun time."
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:And he said Arlene would lo- you know.
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:It was just stuff that we did.
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:Worked on it a little bit and then,
uh, eh, he couldn't get a wife.
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:She, she just didn't wanna come to Florida
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:So we still did our own things
with real estate, and then we
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:just became, uh, phone buddies
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:And about seven years ago, I
think it was, no, eight years ago
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:maybe, I had, uh, gotten my, um
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:New Jeep
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:And this was before I got sick
with the, you know, eyesight and
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:the cancer and all this other
crap a couple years before that.
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:Excuse me.
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:I, uh, gave him a call and said, "Look,
I'm headed to New York, and I'm gonna
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:come across and I'm gonna come visit you.
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:After I go out of New York, I'm
gonna come back over to Tennessee
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:and then back to Florida."
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:So, you know, I made my trek to
New York to see my Aunt Ada, um,
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:who, uh, was the last survivor
of my mom's side of the family.
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:Then drove over to Nashville to
spend time with him and Arlene.
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:They had a little cottage on the, on
a river there in, uh, in Nashville.
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:Man, the bugs were terrible.
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:Ate up my ankles.
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:Oh, my gosh.
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:I said, "What are these things?"
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:They were just little gnats.
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:So we had, uh…
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:I sp- I spent there, you know,
about maybe three, four days, and
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:he introduced me to the Nashville
Hot, I think it was called, Chicken.
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:He says, "Yeah, we gotta get some."
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:I said, "Okay."
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:So we go into the restaurant.
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:We order, you know, three portions, one
for me, one for Arlene, and one for him.
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:Got to the house, opened it up,
and I take a bite and, and I could
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:see his face looking at me, and I'm
going, "Holy crap, this is hot."
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:He goes, "Yeah, that's why
they call it Nashville Hot."
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:I go, "Yeah, now I know."
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:He got a chuckle out of
that, and Arlene did too.
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:You know, it was just funny.
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:Uh, it was, it was just
a funny, a fun evening.
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:We just had conversations
about, you know, her life.
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:I said, "You know, here you are, Frank,
in Chicago, excuse me, off the boat-"
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:And you meet this young lady who's
working at the bank, and you approach her.
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:Now, you gotta remember this,
this is back, back in the '70s
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:No.
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:He's an Italian from Italy, obviously
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:She's a Black woman from Chicago,
and he got smitten about her.
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:I mean, really, he was telling me the
story and she was telling me the story.
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:She goes, "Yeah, he'd come in and
deposit his paychecks and this
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:and that, and I got to talking
to him," and they started dating
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:And, uh, I don't remember the entire
story about hers, if her husband
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:passed away or if she had been
divorced, but she had some kids.
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:And, um, I asked him, I said,
"How did the kids react?"
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:And they go, "They love me."
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:I said, "Well, that's all that counts."
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:You know?
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:And he, he, he brought them up as his own.
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:I know the feeling.
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:I was a stepdad
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:You do whatever you can to, you
know, make their lives better.
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:So when I went to visit him in
Nashville, I was staying at their
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:place and she goes, "Oh yeah, Frank
cooks the dinners, and he takes care
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:of lunch and all this other stuff."
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:And, and, uh, just a sweet, sweet woman.
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:Love her to death.
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:I've tried calling.
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:His number obviously
has been disconnected.
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:I'm gonna do a little work.
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:I'm gonna see if I can find Arlene.
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:I wanna talk to her and
just, just talk to her.
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:But whenever I would call,
she'd be in the background and
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:say, "Tell Vinnie I love him."
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:I'd go, "Arlene, I love you, too
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:So I spent some time up there with him
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:And, uh
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:We, you know, we, we, we would
talk on a regular basis and, and
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:then about five, six years ago
when my cancer hit, his cancer hit
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:And, uh, we would talk about
the treatments we were getting
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:and the doctors we were going to
and, you know, just, just stuff.
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:Nothing, nothing heavy, just
talking about life in general
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:And he would ask how my life was
going and, you know, who was involved
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:in my life, and I would tell him and
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:He would always wonder, "Oh, one of
these days you'll get it right, kid."
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:I go, "Yeah, maybe one of
these days I'll get it right."
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:It, it's
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:This was such a shock this week.
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:I don't know why it took me this…
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:I, I know why it took me this long.
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:I was so distracted and so
self-absorbed in myself and my woes
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:that I forgot there's other people
in your, your world, your circle.
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:And that is one of the things I
wanna press here, talk about here.
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:You may have people in your circle
that maybe you don't agree with or, or
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:standoffish or whatever they may be.
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:And I'm guilty of it too.
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:Uh, I don't, uh, I don't, uh, reach
out to everyone like I should.
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:And there are people who I hadn't
reached, reached out to in years and
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:have reconnected, and I'm happy for it.
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:So now I need to really readdress
the people who I haven't connected
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:with in a long time that were there
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:I think the, the, the, the point of
all this is, again, life is short.
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:We have no guarantee of tomorrow.
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:We have just what we have right now.
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:I could finish this recording
and maybe never get it broadcast,
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:never get it uploaded, or I get
it uploaded and I pass away.
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:There, there's, there's
absolutely no guarantee of
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:what's gonna happen right now.
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:I mean, that's it.
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:And I think this woke me up,
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:really woke me up to
where I am in my life.
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:Where are you in your life?
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:Where are the people in your life?
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:Where are the people that
you've had odds with?
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:Where are the people that, you know,
say you're your friends, but really
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:they're not, they're just, um…
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:I shouldn't say they're not
friends, they're just acquaintances.
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:They're not really true friends
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:You'll know who your true friends are
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:The song you're hearing in the
background is "O Sole Mio."
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:My, uh, Uncle Mike used to play
it all the time whenever we'd
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:go to his house on the stereo.
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:Pavarotti would be singing it
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:So I thought it was ap- thought
it happened in the background.
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:I used to play this as a kid, the
song "O Sole Mio" on the accordion
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:I want to apologize for the coughing.
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:It's just, I don't know
why it's been like this.
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:I think it's just stress or
anxiousness whenever I get behind
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:the mic lately that I'm about to
talk about something that's extremely
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:Uh.
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:Something that just makes me stop
and think about a lot of things
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:I think what I wanna leave us
with is that my friend Frank
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:His beautiful wife, Arlene
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:He may be gone, but I think
he's watching out for me
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:And I hope he's watching out for
his wife, which I think he will
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:be, and everyone that was in
his circle of friends and family
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:They say you're not guaranteed
tomorrow, just today
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:I had a reason for doing this, and the
reason not ended up the way I thought
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:it was gonna be until I started talking
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:I don't script these things out.
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:I just, whatever's in my heart,
my head, my soul, it comes out
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:I, I, um
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:I, I want to say that if there's
someone in your life that
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:has not been someone you've been
contacting or talking to in a
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:while, and I'm guilty of it too.
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:We all are.
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:Maybe it's time to reach out
and say, "Hey, how you doing?
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:What's going on?
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:Anything I can do?"
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:And it's gonna be hard 'cause for me
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:I, I'm not that easy to do that.
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:It's gonna take baby steps to reconnect.
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:Um
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:I, I started working with my cousins
that I could still find here in the
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:country, in, in the United States, and
the ones in Europe, a little bit tougher
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:But my goal is that by the time
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:See, I don't know when the t-t-time, time.
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:I may not have any more time.
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:None of us know how much more time
we have, and that's the point.
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:You can think you've got time to
do things or straighten things
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:out or work things out, or it'll,
it'll straighten itself out.
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:It doesn't.
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:You don't have the time.
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:I could walk out to the
mailbox and get run over
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:I could be going to the grocery
store and, and get s- T-boned
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:some, some, some stranger.
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:I mean, we don't know
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:And I don't wanna sound morbid,
and I don't wanna sound, oh
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:Trying to scare people?
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:I want, I wanna leave with the, the,
the thought, the presence of I will
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:make a concerted effort to reach out to
people I haven't spoken to in a while
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:and just say, "Hey, how you doing?"
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:You know, we don't have to get into
a long dissertation about the past.
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:That was yesterday.
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:That was yesterday.
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:It is gone.
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:We can't do a thing about
what happened yesterday.
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:It's, it's just a fact
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:And I'm not gonna say, "Well,
I'll see you tomorrow."
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:Well, there may not be that tomorrow
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:When I spoke to Frank on, on that two
days before his, you know, death, you
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:know, he's making plans to come visit.
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:I'm making plans for him to come
visit, and it never happened.
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:So yesterday is gone.
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:Tomorrow is not a guarantee.
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:It's right now, the here and now
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:So I'm gonna make a point of it to
reach out to some people who have
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:hurt me, and probably hurt them too.
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:I probably have hurt them too,
and just say, "I'm sorry."
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:That's all.
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:"I'm sorry.
429
:If you wanna be in my
life, you're welcome.
430
:If you don't wanna be in my life,
that's your choice, not mine,
431
:but you're available in mine
432
:That's the only way to heal because if
you carry this to your death, I think
433
:you're gonna feel like you regretted it
434
:I wasn't expecting to go this way
435
:I had a little bit of an idea of
what I wanted to talk about and
436
:how I wanted to talk about things.
437
:But as you sit here and I'm hearing myself
speak, I said this would be hypocritical
438
:if I didn't do what I'm about to say.
439
:Like I said this.
440
:So I'm gonna take a, make a concerted
effort over the next few days.
441
:I'm not gonna take a month.
442
:Next few days, reach out,
say, "Hey, how you doing?
443
:What's going on?"
444
:Just open up the door.
445
:If they don't let me in, I know I tried.
446
:I'm not gonna lose any sleep over it, but
I don't think I wanna spend another day
447
:Knowing that I didn't, um, reach out.
448
:Things have happened in the
last four months in my life in
449
:addition to all the health issues.
450
:Wow.
451
:You know, and you can go listen to them.
452
:I recorded them, and it was overwhelming.
453
:So now I'm in a different phase of my life
454
:I know that Frank would be happy
455
:And I, um, I apologize
for getting off tangent.
456
:This was supposed to be more about
Frank, but part of Frank woke me up.
457
:It absolutely woke me up that
458
:Yeah
459
:He had an impact on me
460
:Everyone has a Frank in their life.
461
:Call them.
462
:Go visit them.
463
:You know, whatever you
have to do, go do it.
464
:I'm gonna make the concerted effort to
be the person that opens up the door.
465
:If you close it, that's your choice.
466
:But I'm gonna open the
door and step inside.
467
:If you ask me to leave,
I'll be happy to leave
468
:We all have, like I said, people in our
families, friends that are like that
469
:And after
470
:After this whole
471
:Time to reflect
472
:Of Frank's death, my life has
totally and completely been given
473
:to a power that's more powerful than me
